When I’ve had hardly any sleep

Last night was a bad one. I just could not get to sleep. I lay there waiting  for sleep to come, but with no success. My throat, as if wanting to make matters worse, felt slightly scratchy.

I have no idea why I had such a hard time falling asleep last night. Maybe it was the weather? After a cold spell, it has yo yo’ed back to being mild and overcast, and this sort of weather  is not agreeable to my system. Maybe it was caused by eating spicy food last night and too many sprouts, which can result in some mild discomfort and indigestion. For some reason, my body was not allowing me to rest and was going into overdrive.

I finally fell asleep but awoke abruptly at  4 am from an intense and nightmarish dream. I was walking beneath the dark clouds of a thunderstorm, and there was zigzag lightening every couple of seconds. I am phobic of thunderstorms, and when I faded out of the dream to the sound of a light switch being turned on (the joys of being a light sleeper!), my heart was pounding, my hands were drenched in sweat, and I felt hot and feverish with a pounding headache. The only way I could calm my overactive nervous system was to sit up in bed and write a few lines in my journal about what was happening. As I did this, I cooled down and stopped sweating, although it took a little while for the palpitations to die down.

I was restless the rest of the night, feeling tense and worried, and my fingers were only half consciously pushed firmly into my ears, which made one of my ears feel sore, and contributed to my headache and a sense of fullness in both ears.

I tried to get some more rest, and stayed in bed until 9 am, but I only dozed off briefly, and this morning I felt extremely tired with a slightly sore throat, a leaden feel across my head, and a feeling of slight indigestion resulting in hiccups (this always happens when I’m extremely tired). Eating breakfast and drinking coffee did not help much, if anything it made me feel more tired. When I’m this tired I can’t function well at all, but I thought I could at least write this experience down on my blog. Thankfully I do not have these experiences that often, although I am always slightly tired. I was in fact sleeping pretty well by my standards lately, and I hope this is only a blip. I am feeling annoyed that I can’t follow my reading routine today,  but hopefully I will still be able to buy food from the shops later.

My autism gets significantly more disabling  when I’m tired as my functioning is impaired. A lack of sleep for me is not just a slight frustrating hindrance, it is a paralysing impediment.

I have spent the morning sleeping, or rather lying there nursing a headache. It’s now 1:36 pm, and I am trying to summon up the energy to walk to the local Co-op to get Heinz tomato soup. Too tired for any lunchtime cooking.

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